Radiance
by mandrakefunnyjuice
Summary: "She smiles. 'I trust you, Zelos.' That damn smile. I think at this point, I'm just doing it all to see her smile again." One-shot, Zelos' POV, a reflective piece.


A/N: This was supposed to be part of the 100 Themes challenge, like the prompt suggested. It got a little away from me and was too long, so now it's a one-shot. Woops. Enjoy and review at leisure.

**Radiance**  
>PROMPT 14: Smile<br>SUBJECT: Zelos, 1st person POV, Colette-centric. You'll like it of you, like me, are a sucker for mild "Zelette."  
>WC: 1584<p>

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><p>She smiles. "I trust you, Zelos." That <em>damn <em>smile. I think at this point, I'm just doing all of this to see her smile again.

The brains at Sybak work themselves into a sweaty panic trying to come up a solid theory about how time actually works; the way I see it, it's all about perspective. That's all life is, perspective. That's all that time is, too. Time's only linear because of clocks and schedule, you see. We're just _perceiving_ one event happening at a time. It's only way to look at time, through the lens of the present or past. In reality, there's a million different sides that we haven't seen – it's like a gem, a diamond of time, but too big a jewel to see anything more than one facet at a time.

I like that. It's complex, and yet pretty easy to understand. Hell, even Bud could get it.

Sometimes we'll catch a glimpse of the future, maybe, if we're lucky. But we can always look on the facet of the past because it's already happened, and we've already shifted to a new point of view.

That's the most that my gem of time offers – a shining glitch, a fleeting moment, a brief pocket of time, followed by reversion.

It's about four months ago, meeting Bud & co. in the Church. They scoff at my jokes and whatnot but I adapt – it's no different from dealing with my lovely abusive Sheena except with, you know, less abuse. I'm not worried about double-crossing a bunch of country bumpkins from the planet that's leeching _my _planet's life force – they're a bunch of aliens, what the fuck do I care? – the only thing I'm really concerned about is the angel.

She's just so _lifeless. _Not to mention she's a girl, I wasn't expecting that at all. Ever since Yuan and his posse meandered their way into Tethe'alla and dropped the Sylvarant bomb on us, I couldn't stop myself from getting excited. I was the living Chosen of Tethe'alla, and that meant that there was also a living Chosen of Sylvarant, somewhere. More than anything, I wanted to meet this Chosen. I wanted to see what he looked like, what his habits were, what he thought about his world and Cruxis, how he was treated, what his favorite color is, hell, I don't know, everything. Colette was the opposite of what I'd envisioned, and yet so much better. But from the Professor's descriptions of Sylvarant it wasn't the kind of place I'd like to visit – shitty, downtrodden, mana-deprived, and full of angry half-elves. Sounds like a regular nightmare. The Chosen isn't even rewarded for their services – they live in seclusion, apparently, until venturing off to save the world and die, or die trying to die by saving the world.

It's bleak and ugly.

Colette isn't, though. She's in full angel-mode, attacking everything that so much as touches her, throwing me across the whole plaza with a flick of her wrist, and is sure as hell still one of the cutest things I think I've ever seen – I wonder, four months ago, what she'd be like with a _smile_ plastered on her face. I wonder, because I _need_ to wonder, I _need _to see this other Chosen, this only other person who could relate to me. I need to know what she's like, I need to talk to her. It'd been a fantasy of mine that I couldn't stand leaving unfulfilled, not when she was right in front of me. I had to.

The time-gem shifts and it's now a few weeks later. I see her smile on the Fooji mountain tops. It's radiant, just like I thought it'd be.

Funny, not but a day before, Bud's depressed. Goddess, he's so sad it's getting _me _down. _Me! _His half-assed key crest didn't work and Colette's still a lifeless angel and now I suppose he feels like he's failed her in some way. I wasn't surprised, I was pretty sure it wouldn't work, but these Sylvarantians are the most stubborn idealists I've ever seen. They start getting the stupid idea in their heads that hey, why don't we go back to Sylvarant? And visit Bud's dad, who is a dwarf apparently, and knows about key crests?

I tell them flat-out, "No." I give it to them straight, because I've had enough of their entitled attitude. It wasn't kind of me but someone had to say it – that frankly, not everyone gave two cents about our poor little dear Colette. I wasn't sure I did either – I was on the fence on that issue. Frankly, as much as the idea of another Chosen captivated me, the sheer _blankness _in Colette's eyes – that lifeless, horrible stare that shouldn't be on anyone – it terrified me. It sickened me. Course, I don't mention that part, just the part about not everyone going ga-ga over little miss Angel.

They don't buy it and somehow convince me to betray my country. The things I do for women.

But now it's later, after I killed those guards and the others are eyeing me strangely. Sheena hasn't changed, which I admit, makes me a bit happy. Colette hasn't changed either, which doesn't make me happy at all. Also the brat and his sis are half-elves, but nobody then cares what I think, so fuck it.

But _there, _on the Fooji mountains. The trap was set and it failed (gotta admit I was expecting that too – these guys are nothing if not persistent), but oh, it failed in such an awesome way. None other than the great bitch herself, Pronyma, shows up. Oh, plus this guy Kratos, who used to travel with the bumpkins back in Sylvarant, but that wasn't the best part. Colette lets out this shriek, attacks Pronyma, says something horribly corny about the necklace-crest Bud made her, and breaks the cage we'd been trapped in.

After the battle, I saw her smile for the first time. I was right. Her smile was beautiful, and despite or maybe in spite of losing her faith, discovering that the organization she devoted her life to was filled with whacked-out assholes, and just barely regaining all of her humanity after sacrificing it willingly to said whacked-out assholes, she keeps on smiling. One of the first things to come out of her mouth? "Wow, I'm hungry again!" I laugh at that.

And now it's the Tower of Salvation, where it all nearly falls apart. The old man needs his shiny Aionis, and I'm the only one who can get it. Even though it was only an act, when she looks up at me with those big blue orbs of hers and smiles, I start breaking at the seams.

"Don't worry. I trust you, Zelos."

I swear, it's like she's actually trying to drive me insane. How can she be this way? How can she be so selfless? I very nearly crack.

Instead, I smile her a lie and lead her to the trap. The angels come and take her away, the others get that betrayed look on their face that I'd been so afraid of for months. Sheena's is really spectacular, looking like I kicked her right in the face. Honestly, I barely pay them any mind. It didn't bother me as much as I thought it might. Bud shouts at me that he still trusts me, but the only thing I have on my mind is Colette's trusting smile. I can't help but think that I told her one day her trust would get her into trouble, and now look at the mess we made. Can't help but think, 'I told ya so.'

I told her once that we Chosen have to stick together. Can't remember when I said that. Probably said it a few times. Just seemed like some little catty, bullshit thing to say. I didn't mean much by it, but she took it really seriously.

"_We're the only Chosen, Zelos. We're the only ones who can make it right again. We're all the other's got!"_

_I back off. "Whoah there, cutie, don't get sentimental on me."_

_She just smiles. "I know you like to hide behind your words, Zelos. I . . . I do it too. Sometimes . . . sometimes when I smile, I . . . lie. We have to be strong, even when we're not, even when we'd rather give up. I gave up at the Tower, but I know now that it was wrong of me, and I'll never make the same mistake again. And I'll never let anyone make the same mistake as me. Can you promise me something, Zelos?"_

_I don't really have an answer to that except, "Yes." Normally I would've laughed this all off with an inappropriate joke, but I've never seen her so serious. She's stopped smiling now._

"_Promise me you'll never sacrifice yourself like I did. Promise me you won't make my mistakes, and I'll promise that I won't let you."_

_I promise that, just to make her smile. "Like I said, we Chosen gotta stick together."_

The time-gem shifts. It's in the future now, nothing is certain here. It could all just be a fantasy of mine, but I can't get it out of my head. Colette's at the door and I get to it before Sebastian. I open it up, the sun shines through, filling the entryway with warm, soft brilliance. It's all her.

The Chosen of Sylvarant grins wryly at me gives a cheerful little wave. "Hi, Zelos!" She chirps.

I smile back.


End file.
